Higher, faster, further...

Higher, faster, further...why competition in sports is so addictive?

I find sports competition extremely motivating, engaging and delightful. The adrenaline rush, the urge to outwit, outrun and outlast your opponent. That last touch, that last breath, that last step can decide your fate. To win or lose.

The motivation is that, the more you train, the more you practise, the harder you try, the outcome will be definitely better. And victory will be rewarding, your triumph over your opponent.

Unfortunately the same cannot be said about being a doctor. Your effort does not commensurate with the returns. The more effort you put in does not equate better returns. Promotions for example does not take into consideration how many patients you see, how satisfied your patient is, nor the outcome of your treatment. Promotions may rather depend on who you are and who you know. Having said that, you cannot measure patient satisfaction nor treatment outcome per se as an overall assessent of a doctor's performance. For example if you give MCs to all your patients, invariable all of them would be happy. Conversely if you deny them what they ask for invariable they wouldn't be happy. Outcome of treatment is also difficult. If you see ICU patients, invariably a large proportion will die, however if you just see cough and cold, all of them will live!

Perhaps outcome of your treatment depends a bit more on how much you know, how much experience you've got but at the end of the day, you do not decide the fate of the patient. A higher calling decides that. We have too little knowledge about life. You may be the "best" doctor in the world, you may spend every minute of your life beside your patients, inevitably you will still lose patients. Conversely even you are a "lousy" one, inevitably you'll save some patients and might be promoted as well. They say self satisfaction is ultimate goal, not "worldly" rewards like monetary gains and peer recognition. But then self satisfaction is based on what? Knowing that you've done your best? It's easier to say than to swallow. Doing your best is not synonymous with gratitude nor recognition. Do I sound jaded or what?

So if you ask me I'd prefer to put more effort into running faster, jumping higher and going further as it is more satisfying. If I had practised more often, I might have been one inch faster and one inch closer to vistory. And then the rewards that come with being triumphant. Self satisfaction too for being the best. So see you at the courts! I shall be there more often :)

The idle mind

Recently I had a rather interesting topic which was talked about during work. Epigenetics.

It happened to be related to a drug we were using. The talk drifted to Lamarck's theory of acquired characteristics vs Darwinian's theory of natural selection ie survival of the fittest. On which is more dominant in evolution. More on epigenetics here

Basically epigenetics is related to an acquired characteristic which can be passed on to the next generation. Compared this to genetics which is an inherited trait which is passed on the next generation too. My colleague drifted to this example of evolution of giraffes which can also be found here

So which do you think is more dominant for evolution? If you believe in evolution lah.

From Hanoi

Having to live with a pathetic internet connection is not good. But life is such, you get something, you lose something.

On the positive side of things, since I moved over here, I had the opportunity to visit Hanoi. It was a nice change of environment from work, work and work. Life is much simpler in Hanoi. But the traffic and motorcycles beat KL's anytime. Pedestrian crossing? Well, just close your eyes and walk. The motorist will find a way to avoid you...if you dare. We managed to watch the famous "water puppet show" and had some Vietnamese noodles.

And for my safety I decided to purchase a nice silk (I hope) handbag, a beaded handbag and a small jewellery box for my significant other as a consolation for not being able to tag along. Or else I might hear no end of it...As for myself hehe, I couldn't help buying a stone figurine which was intricately carved. I love art collectibles especially carvings and figurines. This was tagged for USD50 but I managed to get it for USD30 before the whole gang of our group came and spoilt my bargaining leverage. My way of bargaining? Look a a bit disinterested and down the price by 40-50%. However I still think I paid way too much. But hey, it's art...the value is determined by the purchaser and how much you are willing to fork out for it.

Moving on to another place, another life

It has since been more than a month since I left my previous state which I have called home for more than 7 years. New place, new city and looking forward for a different adventure. So far it hasn't been too great. Waking up at 6am, reaching home at 7pm. Social life = zero. My URL aptly describes my social life : staying way past midnite, and it's not in the pubs or any happening places.

Just got a new internet connection today. I cannot believe it! In the biggest city in M'sia, there isn't a broadband available in my place. I tried Wimax, streamyx, celcom, maxis but no avail. Either the service is not available or broadband internet not available. One of my last resort is Izzi, which is what I'm using now. I can hardly describe it as broadband. My initial impression, it is worst than dialup. But what to do? Maybe past midnight it'll past dialup standards. Yeah, Malaysia boleh...in this day and age. Can't even get a decent internet connection which is a necessity nowadays.

Well, that's all for now. If I stay up any longer it'll be morning. Hopefully the connection improves over the next few days...and I can upload some photos.

Here is my small modem from Izzi which has a rather stable connection but damn slow...not worth the price of subscription if you ask me. But I've got no choice :(